Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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