And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize