I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
