Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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