ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
