Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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