It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
