member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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