if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
