i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
What drink are we having for lunch?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
