This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
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