There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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