Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
