So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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