she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
so let's talk penis.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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