hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
