we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
