please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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