it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize