You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
