Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
