The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
