The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
