Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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