I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
