Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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