So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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