Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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