you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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