I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Do you still have your period?
I puked a lego.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
