I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
