I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
