just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
