You made me cry and you don't even care
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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