I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize