Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
