Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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