"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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