thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
