So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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