Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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