I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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