White coat. Heels.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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