One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
