I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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