Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
