The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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