what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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