I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
