if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
If I die, sorry about rent.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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