She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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