I'm really into asian looking animals
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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