hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
