you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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