Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
