Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
