I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
