Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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