who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm too high and old for this...
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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