he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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