think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I think my moral compass just broke
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