apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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