Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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