They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize