bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
