Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
