new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
