I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
