That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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