just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
