apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
