well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
