He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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